Every so often, distinctive deacons find themselves in a parish vacancy between incumbents, and that they are expected to ‘hold the fort’. This can be immensely demanding, not least because of the misunderstandings and expectations people can bring to you and your ministry. They don’t always understand that we are NOT called to be priests!
Three deacons who have recently been in this position share the things they have learned, or wish they had known in the first place. We hope you find it useful and encouraging.
Status
You’re not the Vicar. You’re not a stand-in vicar, a deputy vicar or replacement vicar. People will assume you are, because of The Collar. Educate them!
Accountability
You are not in charge. Be clear where the responsibility and authority lies, ie with the churchwardens and the area dean. Keep diocesan staff updated if anything gets too much – don’t struggle in silence. Identify your ideal go-to person, someone you can trust and work with.
If you are still in curacy
then the diocese will find you an alternative to act as training incumbent. Ask them to find you someone who understands the focus and trajectory of the distinctive diaconate. Prioritise these times, which are there to support you.
Boundaries
Be clear what these are for a parish in vacancy. For instance, liturgies must remain unchanged. The diocese of Bath and Wells has a very helpful document about vacancies: https://d3hgrlq6yacptf.cloudfront.net/60638a2c87045/content/pages/documents/16079473171776219852.pdf?utm_source=pocket_saves
Don’t bow to congregational pressure
Be kind but firm about your own personal boundaries, and don’t feel guilty. You’re there to enable and support them, not to be a superhero and solve all the problems. Don’t end up writing the parish profile! – that’s the job of churchwardens, lay chair and PCC.
If you happen to be related to your only churchwarden, ask the diocese to appoint an extra one, so that your boundaries remain as clear as possible. Agree with your spouse when you will and will not talk about work at home, use the messaging service on the phone, and ensure you have the same day off.
Collaboration
Communication is key. The deacon is a collaborative minister, so get together a small group of others in leadership, eg LLMs and churchwardens, to work with you. Plan, pray and reflect together. Keep the lay chair and the PCC informed and updated.
The Eucharist
Deacon Claire Robinson strongly advises against doing Communion by Extension, on the grounds that once the congregation sees you behind the altar, they will assume you are the same as a priest, and it’s hard to pull back later. Check the diocesan list of PTO and retired priests, and ask some of them to help. The congregations may be feeling at sixes and sevens: if you can organise the same priests for the same Sundays each month then everyone will settle down into the pattern, which helps create a sense of security.
Servant
Be true to your calling. Remember you represent Christ the Servant. God does not call in isolation. He’s called you to be in this space, at this time, however unprepared and inadequate you may feel. Remember God’s faithfulness, acknowledging it out loud as the congregation may be mourning a loss, angry, or relieved. So don’t try to be the person ‘in charge’, but the servant of those who are.
Enabler
Seek to equip, empower, encourage and exhort others. Love, help, support and cajole, be forgiving if your help or advice is spurned, and recognize that there is a limit to what you can achieve.
Reconciler
Sometimes relationships get very difficult in vacancies, so the deacon as go-between might be really valuable. Deacons are called to ‘lead maturely, promoting safe and harmonious Christian communities’. However, this is not always possible, in which case it’s essential that you keep the area dean informed if things start getting out of hand. Don’t wait until they are really bad before you ask for help. It’s wise to spot potential for trouble and ask for advice early.
Diaconal focus
Try and continue with something diaconally-focused: don’t just be drawn ever-deeper into the maintenance of the church as institution. There might be a great deal of pressure around the attitude “give up on this diaconal ministry until the church is sorted”. Don’t! If you try to be something you’re not, then you’ll end up being ineffective, frustrated, exhausted or all three.
Self-care
Ensure everyone knows which are your rest days, and stick to them; if necessary, go out for the day. Don’t forgo holidays – it is a false economy! Eat proper meals, exercise in some way, and create mental breaks for yourself. Don’t become isolated from your friends, colleagues, or extended family. You will be very busy, but you need these life-giving and supportive relationships around you. Guard close family time.
However, of course there may be emergencies and nobody can legislate for those: but if you give up some rest time, try and add it elsewhere. If you’re in curacy, then emergencies should go first to the churchwardens, who will then contact you.
Most important of all
Pray without ceasing. Have a small ‘inner sanctum’ of people with whom you can be honest and pray, and be upheld in prayer. Prioritise time with your spiritual director, put a retreat into your diary and ringfence the dates. It’s only as we stay close to our Lord that we receive the strength we need for the task he is allowing us to have.
If you’re a deacon in a European chaplaincy, slightly different rules apply: please see https://www.europe.anglican.org/resources/user-guide-chaplaincy-vacancy-management
Deacon Chris Saccali, in the Athens chaplaincy, comments ‘I tried to keep everything on an even keel in a rocky situation. There is often dissension and division in vacancy as well as a feeling of uncertainty. Very important to keep unity. As the previous incumbent became the area dean, it was vital for me to have a direct line to archdeacon, and the ear and input of the bishop. In the Diocese in Europe clergy are far-flung, but I was grateful for support from the Reader and chaplains in Crete and Corfu. It was a lonely experience, but a valuable one, although it has taken its toll. However, it’s also given me many insights, especially into mediation and reconciliation.’
With grateful thanks to Deacons David Bean, Claire Robinson and Chris Saccali.
July 2024
CofE Network of Distinctive Deacons 