Being a Doula-Deacon: Helena Whitwell
Looking back, the callings to be ordained, and to support women on birth journeys actually pretty much coincided in timing. At the time it was confusing as they felt like two very different things, and I had no idea that they would one day be so intertwined with each other.
Both ‘Deacon’ and ‘Doula’ come from original root words meaning ‘to serve’. Doulas accompany women on pregnancy journeys, through loss, birth and into early motherhood. In fact, doulas are trained to emotionally accompany people through any times of transition or rites of passage; including end of life. As both a doula and a deacon, I love to hold and facilitate safe spaces for people to process their journeys, and to connect with God too.
I was recommended for training as an Assistant SSM (self-supporting ministry) in order to continue with the call to work as a doula. I enjoyed three years training at Sarum college and then was ordained Deacon in 2024. It was only after that, when I really found out about Distinctive Deacons! The moment I did so was quite transformative for me, as I had been feeling so ‘right’ and ‘content’ since being ordained. However, there was nothing in me that was looking forward to being ordained as priest, and that word had never been a part of my strong conviction of God’s call to be ordained.
And so, with the realisation that perhaps I wasn’t a ‘transitional’ or ‘stepping stone’ Deacon, but this was actually the call in itself, all along…. the Distinctive Diaconate is what I have been exploring over the past year, and it continues to feel the right space for me to inhabit. There is such a richness when I reflect on the role of a deacon, and the diaconal ministry: we are rooted in service, we build bridges and we are present with people where they are at, in the world.
I can tell you – a great deal of peace has been present since that decision!
And so, from here I will continue to explore the overlapping spaces I find myself in, such as my church parent and baby groups, processing miscarriage and traumatic births with my clients, and inviting my church congregations to grow deeper in their connection with God, which leads them to step more and more into becoming the people God has created them to be.
Another path I would like to explore (and as a second year curate something I don’t yet have experience with), is funeral ministry in my community. I wonder if God may call me to hold space and be with families towards and after the death of a loved one. And, to facilitate funerals, which are places where life, death and hope meet. As a birth doula is focussed on accompanying beginnings, a deacon is often an accompanier of endings in this way, with gentleness and faith.
And so, to summarise, I suppose I would describe being a Doula-Deacon something like this:
To be a Doula-Deacon is to walk with others as God creates new life, weaves hope from endings, and remains ever present in the thresholds and mysteries of this world.
If you’d like to follow up on Helena’s ministry as a doula, here are some links:
https://www.instagram.com/christian_doula/
https://www.facebook.com/doulahelena/
CofE Network of Distinctive Deacons 